Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
