Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
All I want is dick and wine.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
