i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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