do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
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Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
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what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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