ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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