That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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