it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
