at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize