Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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