omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
