I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
