Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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