she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just invented taco cereal.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
