Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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