From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
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So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
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He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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