the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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