Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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