Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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