oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
