My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
not ubering you a puppy
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