i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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