Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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