Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
