If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
