I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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