Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Jerry, you need to find god
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
this is an emotional support booty call
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
