So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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