life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
