Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize