I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
