idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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