i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
