Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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