so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
