You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
