I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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