6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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