I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize