xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
