Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
