it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
