yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
