It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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