You're completely useless in the revolution.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
