I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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