I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can text with my tongue
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
