I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
