her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
