the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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