He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize