So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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