The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
