I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
