I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
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Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
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I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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