What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I came so hard my ears popped.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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