whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
