I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize