Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.