Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women

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  (586): A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women http://tfl.nu/ivdc
  Replies (3) Good night (1646) Bad night (568)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy

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  (318): i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy http://tfl.nu/15j4
  Replies (26) Good night (1447) Bad night (685)
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  (858): View more from California

  sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?

  (818): View more from California

  No. He thinks you're slutty.

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  (858): sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat? (818): No. He thinks you're slutty. http://tfl.nu/f63c
  Replies (37) Good night (1637) Bad night (4402)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Can I ask u a weird question?

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  Sure

  (509): View more from Washington

  do u have the hershy squirts too?

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  (509): Can I ask u a weird question? (1-509): Sure (509): do u have the hershy squirts too? http://tfl.nu/s8pz
  Replies (20) Good night (598) Bad night (3600)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.

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  (704): Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker. http://tfl.nu/w3ss
  Replies (30) Good night (7813) Bad night (1115)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

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  (541): I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick. http://tfl.nu/18bv
  Replies (11) Good night (1898) Bad night (716)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off

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  (401): yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off http://tfl.nu/phv1
  Replies (2) Good night (1986) Bad night (1198)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.

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  (513): Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/y1zp
  Replies (15) Good night (1620) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.

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  (541): It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever. http://tfl.nu/ky4b
  Replies (6) Good night (1694) Bad night (772)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.

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  (613): You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you. http://tfl.nu/xki1
  Replies (6) Good night (1877) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.

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  (941): We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go. http://tfl.nu/o8qv
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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  (406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l
  Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.

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  (651): possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer. (651): also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some. http://tfl.nu/7hdm
  Replies (6) Good night (399) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.

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  (540): Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach. http://tfl.nu/d58b
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw

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  (989): dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw http://tfl.nu/cvdu
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (300)

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