i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
