my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?