Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i just had sex bonerless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): i just had sex bonerless http://tfl.nu/7rsn
  Replies (84) Good night (1592) Bad night (12142)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo http://tfl.nu/wnvu
  Replies (31) Good night (1243) Bad night (6630)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up. http://tfl.nu/1vdz
  Replies (22) Good night (1007) Bad night (4399)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone? http://tfl.nu/ubfa
  Replies (5) Good night (2739) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me. http://tfl.nu/l22j
  Replies (11) Good night (4832) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost http://tfl.nu/fd0l
  Replies (5) Good night (3759) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor http://tfl.nu/12jc
  Replies (5) Good night (4422) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance... http://tfl.nu/f7dv
  Replies (7) Good night (2687) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama? http://tfl.nu/p6aj
  Replies (14) Good night (931) Bad night (2510)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened) http://tfl.nu/by9k
  Replies (9) Good night (1532) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned http://tfl.nu/s1xm
  Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard. http://tfl.nu/ug22
  Replies (7) Good night (1598) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable. http://tfl.nu/uogv
  Replies (12) Good night (1138) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink http://tfl.nu/s3j7
  Replies (3) Good night (1124) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators http://tfl.nu/uz36
  Replies (3) Good night (261) Bad night (678)

Randomize