The maid of honor just puked.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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