Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
