I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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