if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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